LOVE

The word love is used too much.  I just don't get it!  You can't love someone in April and hate them in May and say you "really" loved them.  Maybe on TV, but sure as hell not in real life!    One incident may kill the relationship, but it doesn't turn off your feelings and if it does, there was nothing there to begin with! I wish someone could explain to me how people can get divorced and married again so quickly because it really baffles my mind!

I detest the word divorce because it represents failure to me.  Failing is something I don't believe in and when I decided to end my marriage ended after MANY years the hardest thing to handle for me was feeling like a failure to God, to my commitment, to my husband and to my children.  After 10 years and a FANTASTIC spiritual mentor, a LOT of prayer and HOURS of “couch time”, I still hate that word (divorce), but I no longer have the guilt and shame of feeling like I failed.   It took me nearly 15 years, but that experience taught me that “REAL” love requires the investment and commitment of BOTH people. (You woulda thought I knew that BEFORE the wedding, huh?)

ANYONE can find a mate when their cash is stacked, if they want to buy attention or affection because they sure as hell aren't buying love!!  I have watched so many of my male friends literally cash out to get a woman’s attention and end up alone when they fall on hard times.  Those “beautiful women” bail as soon as it’s time to put in work!  No doubt my female friends have done the same thing, but the difference is that they pay for that man so long they bamboozle themselves into thinking the dude has “grown to love them” and have babies for these rented men and get tied to them FOR LIFE! 

What happened to the days of going through stuff TOGETHER?? Having arguments and being mad, but the thought of leaving NEVER crosses your mind? Loving and sacrificing until it hurts? Remaining COMMITTED to that ONE person literally until you take your last breath?

 I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND!! Maybe I was born in the wrong decade because THAT’S what I want!!  I don't want the “HAPPY DAYS” life without the “GOOD TIMES” struggle.  THIS time, when God blesses me to marry again it WILL be until I take my last breath!