People

It really bothers me that the people you rely on for support are usually the ones who hinder your growth the most.  Over the last few months, I have learned the true value of inner strength.  From losing everything, moving to a place with no support and LITERALLY starting over with nothing, I can honestly say my biggest fan (besides God) is me!

In some cases, I know my friends and family mean well, but they often cross the line of disrespect.  Typically I allow things to "roll off my back", for some reason...THIS TIME, I am not allowing people to step on or over me!  Unfortunately, it has taken me nearly 39 years to realize I deserve the same respect I give others and being older does not mean  people are wiser than I.   While I appreciate knowing the experience of others, I am not easily deterred from whatever I chose to do.  If I do not solicit advice, it's HIGHLY unlikely that I will consider someone else's opinion in my decision making process. This is a really difficult time for me right now because I am embarking on a new life, career and marriage and the people I consider near and dear to my heart will not be able to share in my joy. Perhaps they will learn to accept me as I am, not for who they would like me to be one day.  Until then, I will continue to follow my heart and instincts.

Thankfully I know God's plan cannot be intercepted by man.  I have been TRULY blessed with the understanding that I have a specific purpose in my life and God has planned my path.

Procrastination

Today I learned a valuable lesson.  I am my own worst enemy.  Procrastination is a form of fear.

One of the worst things I have done to myself over the years is procrastinated.  Not just with my personal life, but also with  work tasks, and long term business goals.  Its amazing that I have accomplished as much as I have thus far.  Although I am nowhere near the level I should be at this stage of life.   I have repeatedly told myself, "I'll get to it".  Now that I am looking at nearly two years of  saying those words, I am angry with myself because I have no one to blame but myself. 

I THOUGHT I was motivated to pursue my dreams, but the fear of failure (or success) has somehow masked itself in the form of procrastination.  To think I tell people to follow their dreams and here I am not following my own.  Planning means nothing if I don't "ACT"! So today I am making a conscious decision to execute all of the plans I've made over the last few years.   I know what I have to do AND how to do it, so I just have to get off my ass and JUST DO IT!!

Perspective

We've all had our share of drama.  Lord knows, I have had my share of ups, downs, highs and lows but somehow I think those things were planned when God designed my path in this world.  Somehow through all of the things life has thrown at me I have grown in all the roles I have been blessed with thus far.

One thing I will share is that as I have learned my lessons, my perspective on EVERYTHING has changed as I have evolved.  Since I will never stop growing, I am certain of one thing, I will continue to have different views as life goes on. 

Unfortunately, I have had to remove close friends and even some family members from my immediate circle as a I've continued down my life's journey.  It is NOT a good feeling to learn that those you've trusted and confided in over your entire lifetime are haters and sometimes intentionally try to limit your growth by showering you with negativity and pessimism.   The Good Book says we have to love everyone, not LIKE them....guess what!  That includes family!